Who will honour a nation without heroes?

A few years ago, when I was personally confronted with the submissiveness of top Lithuanian officials to the opinions of their foreign colleagues, I wondered, “Are they scared?”
It was strange to feel that the apparent defence of only one's own interests, which is not good for us, for Lithuania, was accepted as legitimate, and that even implicitly expressed wish was granted.
That thought has been on my mind for a long time. Like all ephemeral phenomena, this one is also difficult to embody and put into words. It is the invisible legacy of the occupation, handed out to each one of us, a little at a time. Inferiority, the fear of being oneself and the anxiety about one's actions that follows.
Now I understand why we only rejoice in our past and its heroes in a rather mechanical way. Because we are constantly looking over our shoulders, we do not feel free to express our emotions. We need confirmation that we can. Whether we have the right to be proud.
It is the fear left by the cruelty of neighbours. We are truly scared out of our minds of them, which is why we are so eager to please those we see as our allies and defenders. That is why we are afraid of them too. That they will reject us, throw up their hands and leave us, because “well, we don't like these anymore”.
Anything that is seen as even slightly controversial and likely to raise external issues has no right to exist. You cannot risk your reputation. And it doesn't matter whether that reputational risk is real or imagined. I see the risk, it is real.
“Everything you can imagine is real”, said a Spanish genius in the last century who painted incredible portraits as a teenager. Realistic and inspiring, but we do not know him as a realist or an impressionist. Pablo Picasso decided to be himself, and not many people understand that cubism, but they respect the painter. Because Picasso is a personality. We are talking about the individuality of man and his right to be himself, about how we are all unique and wonderful.
Unfortunately, only a small minority are not afraid of themselves. And very rarely do we forgive others who are not afraid. Or rather, we forgive them only when we are no longer in control.
And we need personalities, we need courage, we need examples, and we need a pillar from the past to guide our decisions and actions now. And in the future. Especially for the little ones. Like Lithuania.
Small can only be brave or dead. You are either David who slayed the giant, or you do not exist.
And then there's jealousy (because you feel like you'd like to do something similar, but you're afraid). Oh, that legendary, destructive, often suicidal and fratricidal envy! After all, we only really respect the great when they die. Only then do we give them recognition and monuments.
Fear prevents us from seeking support in the past and jealousy in the present. And so we tear each other apart.
As a result, nothing worthy of the general public's attention about the heroes of the last century has been produced in thirty years. All we have dared to make is a film about a collaborator, a traitor and a murderer. At least that is as close as we have come to that subject. But not about the people who laid the foundations for our freedom today. It is better not to touch them, because we are afraid to call them heroes. It is only through pain and suffering that we forge their names in granite and bronze. There are questions; we need the commission's findings. Maybe not.
Fear.
We do not allow the present to be honoured either. The present that we witness. Our present. After all, no one is asking for sacralization. It is enough to honour. But no, because envy. Like that sticky feeling of panic over the first “mink” in the neighbour's yard in the 90s. Then you bought a Mercedes yourself, but the neighbour had already bought a farmhouse by the lake. And so, too, for an honour that you can't even put in your mouth - we are jealous. The fact that I stole the collective farm's slate, but HE let me do it. Animal nu. That's why I'd rather worship the apostate and communist thief who built a mausoleum for himself at the Gediminas Tower, because he couldn't be brave, either. He just followed behind.
Jealousy.
Or: populists from a party with autocratic genes come and hang a bust on the wall of a building in Vilnius. I don't know if it's a genuine desire or a preconceived reaction, but the municipality takes it and gets lost. Under the guise of objectivity, the press writes: “to the controversial Škirpa”. It seems as if our resistance is like that Schrödinger's cat.
Fear.
Decided to send China? Oh brother, you can't do that. Oh, are you stupid? So fuck us. What about morals, what about principles? And their cunning imperialism? And the concentration camps? Ai, we don't know anything about that, but what if they decide not to sell us cheap tapas? Never mind that China has never been able to do anything serious, never mind that those powerful friends of ours, a few years later, agree with us and say, “Wow, but look at you. It was possible.” Envy. Of course, Dainius will come here and say that we didn't get that investment there, etc. But nobody stopped, did they? We are moving forward faster than the vast majority. So what? Despite the fact that they are all bad, we will now be happy to support the lover of the good Russians who does not want to see the collapse of the Russians and who believes that someone from outside can save them and replace the lizard cruelty with democracy. He is old enough, he has a reputation that has been repaired after the 2009 crisis and he has no chance of becoming President. He is a perfect fit, never mind that he is from the same hated party... but he is not that brave either. It will be calmer.
Jealousy.
We remember the interwar period as a time of prosperity. When the countryside was so prosperous and grew so much of everything that the townspeople had to buy a goose. If it had not been for the occupation, we would be living like Japan now.
What if I told you that we live like Japan, but we don't have the same amount of immovable assets. So what?
Lithuania made political mistakes between the wars. Serious mistakes. Perhaps the occupation would not have happened? Will they be saying again in 100 years' time: after independence, Lithuania grew rapidly and recovered economically, but it made many political mistakes.
And I ask: who remembers who the person in the photo is?